I don’t know what to wear! 

How often do you stand in front of your wardrobe believing you have nothing to wear?

There are probably a hundred items of clothing hanging right there in front of you but for some reason none of them feel ‘just right.’ One would think so much choice would be a wonderful thing BUT when a range of thoughts run through your head like –  

“what is the weather going to be like today….. I hate being cold so I won’t enjoy myself…. he will think I am easy if I wear that…but that might be too dressy….I don’t want them to think I am trying too hard …. I wish I could fit into that dress now” – it can feel debilitating!

I know these thoughts well

Perhaps like Goldilocks the reason a lot of your clothing doesn’t feel ‘just right’ is because you chose it based on how it will fit in with everyone else rather than what you truly desire to wear?

I discovered this to be the case for myself so I understand completely if this is true for you too. To think all these years, I thought I was choosing what I wanted to wear but when I honestly questioned this, I realised I was really playing the game of what’s acceptable within society.  

I made the decision to ask WHY

Just like Goldilocks searching for the chair that felt just right for her, I felt driven to discover WHY I kept choosing to follow the status quo and at the bottom of all my why’s I discovered that four letter word lurking….

FEAR!

Fear of not living up to people’s expectations. 

Fear of not being perfect. 

Fear of looking silly. 

Fear of standing out. 

Fear of being judged. 

Fear of not being loved

It was all fear!!!

Fear was stopping me from making simple decisions such as choosing what clothing was ‘just right’ for me and I LET IT.

I found freedom to be me

Now that I could clearly see how I was unconsciously choosing to let fear dictate my expression I began to make new choices.

Each time I was stood in front of my wardrobe and one of those old beliefs started running through my head I would acknowledge the fear hiding behind the words and reassure it with something like: “I know you are worried that I might get laughed at for wearing this skirt but it’s ok, I am a grown up now and I get to choose to wear whatever feels right for me” 

The key is the acknowledgment of fear because once it knows you have seen it, you take away its power. Fear cannot live in the light. 

So much for your inner Goldilocks to explore!

With the range of experiences on offer in the Virtual Women’s Village, I get to choose the ones that are ‘just right’ for me and my growth! Plus I am always seeing elements of myself in other women that helps me feel understood and connected. 

Big love,

Sherree Maniks
Virtual Women’s Village Service Provider, Wardrobe Coach and Art Therapist