Others know better

How often during your life have you struggled with indecisiveness? Or find yourself worrying excessively about what others might think? Or need someone else’s approval in order to feel like you have done a good job?

 

I know all of these situations well, or at least I did until my ah-ha moment a few years ago! 

What I realised, is that we have been trained since birth to look outside ourselves for our truth. We have been led to believe that someone outside the perimeter of our body knows better than we do about what we need or want. We have been taught to look to our parents, teachers, supposed experts, or any other authority type figure. It seems like a very natural thing to do as a naive child to learn and be guided by elders, but if your upbringing was anything like mine, where children did what they were told and got in trouble for back chatting or questioning an authoritarian figure, you too will probably find it challenging to trust your inner guidance.

 

Being taught to out-source your truth as the only way, is as false as it is dis-empowering 

The fact is we can’t possibly know everything so at times we do need to go in search of information or guidance which involves asking others, but how often do we blindly accept this information without question? How often do we let laziness or being time poor over-ride, the gentle whisper of our inner voice offering us the answers we seek?

At the end of the day, your life experiences are as unique to you as your values, and your truth, so doesn’t it make more sense to listen to yourself first and foremost THEN cherry pick the knowledge and wisdom from others as it resonates with you?

 

So how do you stop out-sourcing your truth? Here is my 3-step process:

  1. ASK yourself – is this TRUE for me? If it is OR if it isn’t, find the courage to stand in your truth no matter what anyone thinks or says.
  2. ACKNOWLEDGE that everyone has their own truth whether they can access it or not
  3. ACCEPT that everyone has their own truth and you have no right to judge it

The day I really ‘got’ this I felt a wonderful sense of relief and freedom. Because when I accept someone else’s truth there is no need to try to push or prove my point or even to defend myself for that matter. It simply is what it is. 

When two or more people are able to accept each other’s individual truth in a situation then it simply becomes a matter of finding a solution to the issue at hand. This is where we get to practice being real adults rather than adult children who are dependent on outer-authorities to dictate our lives. At this point on Earth don’t you think it’s well and truly time for all of us to stand in our personal truth and learn to say NO when we need to, and YES when we choose to?

 

Be supported to practice your truth

As women in the Virtual Women’s Village, we get to practice our ‘yes’s’ and ‘no’s’ all the time and I love being a witness to another woman courageously speaking their NO – somehow it feels like a win for me too!

Big love,

 

Sherree Maniks
Virtual Women’s Village Service Provider, 
Wardrobe Coach and Art Therapist,

 



You deserve to be nurtured the way you nurture others

The members of our Virtual Women’s Village know what it’s like to be apart of a truly safe, loving and nurturing sisterhood.

Every day, women are re-claiming their lives piece by piece to remember who they really are, before they got  crazy busy and lost in the never ending ‘to-do’ lists and demands of ‘life’.

What are you yearning for? What’s that something ‘more’ that’s nagging deep inside you?

We all have access to this knowing, but often we need a little support to find it. Reach out, take our hand and let’s find out together.